Memoir Writing

I am writing my memoir. It explores a life with many negativity's and is a beacon of hope for me. Writing has allowed me to express the many hurts, losses, frustrations and loss of self I have experienced. I have a life which has been one of many stresses and strains to the point where the writing of these things has meant months of counselling. I am finally finding myself, discovering where my journey will now take me. I have discovered it is ok to be me!

My story is one of adoption, grief, losses, emotional abuse predicated on me by a narcissistic husband, suicide, and finally freedom. Difficulties with writing are interspersed by taking long breaks when the words will not come or are too difficult to put on paper. Words are my life but sometimes their passage is halted by the spaces between them. I have learnt to accept these spaces and dwell on them, to find the words and let them free. My story is unique, a journey into both the past and the future. I need to be strong and self reliant and to enjoy the spaces and gaps.

I am also reading several books about emotional abuse, well written and informative, they are providing me with a solid and concrete background to my story. Again, I can only read short pieces
at a time, the strength of the counsellor's words in the book are invoking a depth of understanding I wish I had learnt when I was suffering at the hands of my abusive husband. Affirmation that I am right, that my story will help others is my motivation and strength. His descriptions of similar situations and men who abuse because they think it is their right have made me feel real.

Writing memoir is a fraught genre. I belong to several Facebook pages about memoirs, memoir writing and authors who follow this genre. What some of them consider to be a memoir frightens me, one I tried to read was nothing more that a description of her various house moves.  Many are light, repetitive and frankly boring. I have read too many 'moves to France', 'my illness and survival', and general descriptions of daily life with chickens, frogs and unmentionable cats. Memoir is meant to enlighten, educate and tell stories of courage and conviction. I often weed books out of my kindle after several pages and descend on a good novel rather than a horrifically boring memoir. There needs to be some regulation among self publishing to ensure that money is not wasted when people buy these books which think they are good quality memoir writing.